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Monday, April 11, 2011

Living with my HEART outside my body

I have had my first traumatic experience being a mother
My little boy 
hurt his arm 
on Saturday night

You know how people say
"You know who someone really is when you put them under pressure"
I heard, "I picked him up and I heard a pop, I think it might be broken" and
I just started balling.

One, because he is ONE!!! 
He can't have a broken arm!!!
and the second is we are between insurance right now and
I had been worrying something like this would happen.

Luckily I was at a friends house with my husband and another friend.
I like support when there is something traumatic happening. 
They were there to reassure me as my little guy's
arm hung limp next to his body.

We drove him to the nearest children's hospital 
and it turned out it was only dislocated. 
I held him on my lap as the doctor popped it back in.
He hasn't even acted like it was sore, but he has been sleeping a lot.
I think he was over tired.

I am only at the beginning of this SCARY journey of being a mom!
He is a BOY, I have a feeling this will be the first of many trips to the hospital...
but that doesn't make me any less scared. 
You know the depth of your love when your little one is hurting 
and you just want to fix it.
When she was going to pop it back in,
I winced as if I was going to feel the pain.

A friend once said about motherhood...
"Welcoming to living with your heart outside of your body"

How true that is. 
Just out there, so vulnerable.
This part of being a mom is just plain, frightening?

Can I get a wintess?? AHHH!
How do you guys feel about it? 
How do you react?

24 Thank you for your thoughts:

Amber Branconier said...

glad to hear that the little man is doing ok.

The Vintage Modern Bride said...

i'm glad it was only dislocated, but i'm sorry you were upset! i'm sure as a mom it can be really scary when your child gets hurt.

Chas said...

Glad to hear you little guy is okay. As mothers we try to protect our children from all of life's hurts. I just had a friend recently point out to me that if I protect my children from absolutely everything that comes their way then how will they learn some level of coping skills...let them have small hurts as kids when they are resilient...guide them with parental wisdom, but let them learn some lessons for themselves rather than protecting them from everything...this was profound for me to hear as I have a preteen & teen. As moms are instinct is to protect, fix hurts, and keep our children happy. We truly do live with our hearts outside of our bodies!

gin said...

I am so glad it wasn't worse and glad the little guy is okay! When my son had ear tubes put in I was a serious wreck and he acted unfazed!

Brooke Anna @ Mommy Does... said...

Whole-y geeze!
I would have been so scared. We haven't had bone issues, but....
seizures? check, head bumps as big as a golf-ball? check, falls from tables? check. Mine is 3 and little boy will be 2 in july. So, it gets easier, scarier, and more worrisome as time goes one. But it's so rewarding in the end!

Ada said...

I have no idea what I'd do! Sounds scary! Glad he's doing okay. Glad to hear he's catching up on his beauty sleep!

Marianne said...

Good to hear that the little man is ok. When my oldest was 6 months old I fell down the stairs from 2nd floor while carrying her. My dad, my husband and I panicked and my mom kept her head cool. My dad got us to the hospital where they checked the baby out. I didn't let go of her. They found nothing wrong with her, but she kept screaming until my mom told me to feed her, then she got quiet. She was fine. That was when I felt it. I had broken bones in my feet, I was so beat up that I couldn't even sit, use crutches or lay down without being in a lot of pain. Since then I have learned to calm down and assess the situation. When Sofie who is almost two now, fell down the stairs by herself a few months ago I figured that since she could scream her ribs were fine, since she could hold on to me her arms were fine and since she were wrapping her legs around me they were fine too. Trip to the hospital averted for this time. But when her temperature goes up I am the first in line to the doctor. Due to her immune difiecency I am always worried about her getting sick.

Brooke Anna @ Mommy Does... said...

Easier- meaning you know they will get better and won't worry as much but you will worry.

b. lee said...

oh my! glad he's okay & feels like resting * * I'm a crazy nervous nelly of a' mom ... 3 girls ~ ~ ~ sending a big ol' mama hug!! cheers to stressin' ... foreva ;)

Bevin @ allisbright.net said...

I know exactly how you feel. I have two little boys and I constantly worry about things like this. I hope he is all well now. =D

Lindsay said...

Oh how frightening. SO glad it didn't turn out too serious :) SO glad he's ok! Being a MOmma is SO hard!

Spruce Kids said...

One only understands that saying after having the precious gift of kids! Isn't it true - they really become our all. We feel their pain more than anything. I'm really glad to hear he's ok. The rest will do him good. Blessings to you and yours!

Kristi said...

I can empathize with you so easily. With 3 kids, we have had 5 broken arms, 2 bouts of stitches, 1 concussion, 1 eye surgery, 1 ear/adenoids surgery, 1 arm surgery, 2 hospital stays (one for 10 days!)and.....well, you get the picture.
We are usually a healthy family...really! It's just that through the years they have added up!
Glad your little guy is alright.
And that bit about your heart being outside your body....so very, very true! :)

Janay said...

Sorry for your scare,,, I'm glad the little guy didn't break his arm!! Congrats on making it through this "first event".
My daughters are 32 and 35 and I still worry about them. Broken bones, sprains, super high fevers, pnuemonia and broken hearts too. To top it off, I now have grandchildren and worry about them as well; it never ends, but yes, the joys are worth it.

Jennifer said...

Ahh!! I'm misty eyed! SO glad his arm wasn't broken!! I've not expierenced something similiar just yet but my lil guy was born with a leaky valve in his heart and so we've been to the heart doctor a few times. The second time he had xrays done they put him in a tube! (arms at his sides) He cried and cried and I about lost it! Glad you had a support system! And you know I was reminded a couple days ago that at this age they have no fear...our reactions to stuff teach them fear. Lil Hunkie will walk(yay he's walking now!) into his dark bedroom and think nothing of it! The wonders of mommyhood!

Sherri said...

OH I'm so HAPPY that your lil man is okay. What a scary experience. I hear on the boy gettin hurt thing, I have 2 & pray all the time for them to just BE SAFE!! Will they ever know the worry they put us thru?!HA!!HUGSxxx

Jayna Rae said...

Boys are tough, but they do bump a lot. We haven't had to take Monster in for anything yet, but I know that this is merely by God's grace. I barely understand how he hasn't broken every bone in his body.

Natalia Lynn said...

OH man that stinks!! I had to take Tae to the hospital and it stunk. It is like you hurt for them! I am so glad though it wasn't broken. Poor little guy!

Mariaelena said...

Soooo glad he is ok...It is sooo scary when your child is hurt...I remember when my now 17 year old daughter broke her elbow when she was 7 as being so traumatic for me...the poor thing...I literally had to slap my own face to get it together...she had to have surgery that night to fix it..AWFUL...we all get through it and move on the the next scary thing...It is what makes us and them who we are...squeeze that little guy...xo, Mariaelena

Sheryl said...

So glad the little man is ok. I'm a mom to 4 and I can totally relate to how you felt. When my oldest took her first major fall and knocked herself out, I freaked, like really freaked. Rushed her to the emergency I'm in tears and shaking....she was done crying and running around the emergency room having a blast. Lets just say as the years go by and I have had more children the freak factor just isn't there anymore. I have become an expert on how to check for concussions and broken bones,what and when to get stitches and how to deal with fevers.Good luck. :)

ArtsyNina said...

My doc called it nursemaids elbow. Was scary-and amazing to see how easily they can pop things back into place!

Suzanne G. McClendon said...

Awww poor baby and poor mommy! I am glad it wasn't a break for your little guy. I know how scary this is to even think about. Everything becomes a whir, a great rushing sound in the head, while it plays out in slow motion.

My daughter broke both the radius and the ulna right at the wrist and watching them twist it back into place was more painful than the birth of her itself. I very nearly screamed for her.

You mentioned that with your baby being a boy that this was the first of many probable ER trips...the way it has worked for our family, the above mentioned girl has been more than both sons put together. That's my girl. :)

By the way, her baby sister broke her arm the very next week because her big brother encouraged her to jump off the front porch. Boys!

You'll make it, I know. We get tougher somewhere along the way. We don't have any choice (well, ok, they could make us insane haha).

Babes and Sages said...

Ashley, sorry I'm a little late but I still wanted to say that I'm glad your little man is ok! Things like that are horrible especially when you're in between insurance. You should hop on over to one of my favorite blogs http://ashleyannphotography.com/blog/ Her little girl just had an accident and they have to be in the hospital for 2 weeks :( It just breaks your heart.
Stay strong momma :)

Ashley Tremaine said...

Oh girl...you are a strong mama to hold him and listen as the popped it back in!! Yikes!! One of mine has 'nurse maids elbow'...in other words..one good yank of the arm and his lower arm is dislocated. When he was very little my hubs noticed he wasn't moving his right arm at dinner, we ended up at the ER and they held him down and popped it back in...so traumatic..for me!! But I watched carefully and was able to put it "back together" the following times...it was hard twisting his little baby arm, but I knew he would feel better once I was done. And you are sooo right...heart outside of your body...X4 for me!! {{{hugs}}}

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