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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Dear Ashley, its time to stop…

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Welcome to
Heart Therapy:
Where we share what we are walking through.
{Like group bloggy therapy}
I will give a writing prompt that you can spin off of, or just share something you have been feeling or thinking about, or something you are learning or going through. Time to do something that will help your heart. Something I believe we neglect all too often.













Today the idea is to think of yourself old, at the end of your life, and what advice you will give yourself now with what you are going through, looking back.
Here is my letter to myself;)
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Dear Ashley,
It’s time to stop lying to yourself. Stop believing lies. It’s time to stand up into who you know who are, who God has spoken to you, about you, over you. Remember. Stop.
You have to make a decision, right now. What do you want to define you? What do you want your life to be all about?
I know you are hurt, deeply. I know you are confused, frustrated, scared. I know life is hard, and full of disappointments. But this never changes, we never really have control over anything that happens in life. Life is pretty hard at times, thing have happened, things will continue to happen, and the only thing you can control is your response. This isn’t a trite answer, this is just the truth. You can let it crush you and take your hope, or you can just be still and remember hope.
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Right now, you are mad at God. You don’t even know why, but I am telling you He is your only answer. When Ashton has had to get shots, he doesn’t like it, he hurts, he doesn’t know why you are letting this happen to him, but how broken would your heart be if he never forgave you or wanted to talk to you again because you allowed this to happen to him. It would hurt you. Your choices now hurt the Lord. He has allowed things in your life and things in others lives that you love, because there is a greater purpose in them, one that you may not understand now, you may never understand. But don’t mistrust His heart. How can you love your son so incredibly and hurt over what he can not understand and the Lord not be the same with you and what you don’t understand. At the end of the day, you either trust yourself and your disappointment to carry you through, or you can trust God.
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Remember. Remember how much God loves you. Remember how He has taken care of you. Remember ALL the things that He has provided for you. Remember His faithfulness to you, remember your life and what it has been like, marked with adventure, prayers answered, passion, faith. Be thankful in remembering. Remember His faithfulness.
You are part of the greater story, you have a role to play, don’t take yourself out of it. You are exactly how God made you, and although you have many years of refining to go through, God will use even your imperfections, even your weaknesses. Let Him. He isn’t looking for you to be perfect, He is looking for you to know and trust Him. He knows better than anyone your failures and shortcomings and He loves you the same regardless. Just like you love Ashton, regardless.
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Stop expecting perfection from yourself and then when you don’t meet that call yourself a failure. You have value simply because you are you, because you are breathing. Treat others that way, treat yourself that way. Listen, when life is beating you up just stop and listen. Look around at the people you have in your life, love them with everything you have, enjoy them, LAUGH MORE! Enjoy being alive, time passes so quickly. Remember life is a gift, your son’s life is a gift, raising him is a gift, loving him and soaking in the moments when his little one year old eyes look intently into yours and you know it is only true love. God longs for that with you, to hold you, to have you look to Him and trust Him and believe that He is good, and will always be good.

Stop lying, stop believing lies about yourself. Fight. You are a fighter by nature, that is not always good, but God will work it out in you. Continue to let him refine that, but fight. Fight for truth, fight for justice, fight for others hearts to be free from the darkness of self hatred and doubt, fight for your own.
It will not be easy, but it will be worth it. Remember your life song by Nichole Nordeman


Jeremiah 1:5-9
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

   before you were born I set you apart;

   I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
“Alas, Sovereign LORD,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”
But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD.
Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”
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Be brave, love, trust. Things will get better, and things will be hard. Fight.
      Love,
           Ashley



Your turn to share….




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12 Thank you for your thoughts:

Meredith from A Mother Seeking said...

What a beautiful and inspiring idea!

My blog is an eclectic mix of things and often it is indeed a DIY Crafty place, but it is also so much more and very much a place to make sense of my journey. Usually I speak about my journey as mom and my journey through grief due to my dad's passing.

I am excited to share parts of my journey with you!

~ Meredith From A Mother Seeking Come find me on my blog, A Mother Seeking...

Judy said...

A very powerful and inspiring post. You have really made me think this morning.

Beth @ Through the Eyes of the Mrs. said...

Just beautiful letter to yourself. I may start one myself. Not sure if I would have the courage to post it but we'll see.

melody-mae said...

what a thought provoking and beautiful post!

Casey Martinez said...

I always love love the the quotes you share. They always resonate with me and make me smile. This is a beautiful post friend!

Alex said...

Love your post Ashley! Very inspiring quotes, I may have to share some of them with others!

Kristine @ JandMs Eye Candy said...

Such a powerful post Ashley!! THANK YOU for sharing it! I wrote a post to link up and didn't have the courage to post until I read yours. Thank you for being so open and honest, and inspiring me to be the same, esp in this blogworld! I can tell this is going to be the start of something beautiful. Hugs to you! Have a wonderful rest of your day!

Sunshine Blossoms said...

I love today's post for so many reasons. Choose to keep this attitude and you WILL get through. God is faithful. It is so ironic, those last verses you wrote (Jeremiah 1:5-9) are a few that I just read in my quiet time for today and were a huge encouragement to me and felt like God's guidance for what's going on in my life. And then seeing it in this post was just reinforcement. So thank you for sharing what God put on your heart. You're touching others' lives more than you could ever know...
If you don't mind, I'd like to share this song that was so uplifting to me when I heard it for the first time the other day. Maybe you've heard it before...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=n1bXG4WIesA
(Never Once by Matt Redmon, in case that link doesn't work.)

Holly said...

This is a truly beautiful post. God brings us through times to teach us, bring us closer, and help our hearts and minds grow. Hard to go through but intimacy with Him is our reward!

bnapolitano said...

I am a new follower and wow! did you get me! you hit every nail on the head. Such a powerful post that has got me thinking! I appreciate your thoughtfulness, candidness, and faith. Looking forward to continue reading. :)


Brit: A Journey Down Twenty-Something

Salena @ A Little Piece of Me said...

Wow! Very moving post. This is great.

Jazmin @ The Miller's said...

Found you on The Weigands. :o) Excited about joining your lovely link up. ;)

♥Jazmin

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